20.10.2009

I'm beginning to see why people move up here and never leave.

I've been working weekends, and week days I sleep in 'till 10 or 11 and then wake up and throw on my gear and ski untill the lifts close at 3:30pm, come back and sleep or sit in the hot tub and have a couple drinks with whoever is drinking down there. I have no bills, no rent, absolutely no money, no phone, no particular place to be.

It's like vacation, but all the time. I like my job, and I can ski as much as I want to for free. It so beautiful here, it still takes my breathe away.

I think I'm going to apply for the 2010 residency program at the firestation in town or apply to the ski patrol next year.

Tonight, after everything else had closed, I went out to the liquor store in town and bought a serious-business-sized PBR and jumped the gate at the ice skating rink in the center of Lionshead and skated around in my boots. A bunch of random groups of people walking past joined in, and for a minute, the closed rink was filled up with people, laughing and falling and skating in our shoes.

Thing That Made My Day:

A ten year old ski racer kid with this huge sticker on the back of his helmet:


He was skiing a pair of Head* Monsters. I'm kicking myself for not taking his picture.
(*Head is a brand of skis)

What the Fuck Does That Mean?

Last night I had one of the more bizarre dreams I can remember.

My dream started with me getting ready to go to bed- brushing my teeth, etc- and then laying down and reading a couple pages of 'On the Road' before I fell asleep. Once I started drifting off (and dreaming, I can't remember about what...) I suddenly started to wake up again, and I could feel something over my face. I started to feel very afraid because I couldn't breathe- someone was holding a pillow over my face. I could feel their forearms against my face through the pillow, pushing it into my face really hard. I couldn't sit up. I tried to reach out to push them off of me, but on the other side of the pillow- no one was there. I could feel their arms pushing down so hard, but they weren't there.

I woke up as I was suffocating.

You know, sometimes I think insomnia may not be the worst thing in the world.

Sometimes, I know everything is going to be okay.

I know the soul of life is good.

If I Leave Here Tomorrow, Will You Still Remember Me...?

Sometimes I'll see myself unexpectedly in the mirror- when I'm brushing my teeth at night in the bathroom or walking passed a window, and I see this pretty girl. She's got terrible posture and big, sad eyes but she's... not pretty, exactly. But different looking, in a good way.

Those unexpected reflections are the only times I think I might be good looking, even though other people seem to think so. I mean, its not that I think I'm deformed or something. I just think that everyone when they're young is beautiful, or as beautiful as they're going to get anyway.

I don't know.

Today I heard the Kaiser Chiefs song- "Oh My God". I completely fell in love with it, you should check it out (if you haven't heard it already).

Vail, Today

Not-New Year's Resolutions

1. Go backpacking through somewhere beautiful (even if it is in my own backyard)

2. (Try to) learn a new language

3. Leave the country

4. Volunteer to help a cause I believe in

5. Try to beg/borrow/steal my way into being a foreign exchange student in Chamoniex or Verbier next winter

6. Drop a cliff in Vail, and live to tell

7. Save money

8. Transfer to CU Boulder

9. Do a foreign exchange program

10. Fingerpaint on a grand scale

11. Become an employed EMT

12. Get a good feel for IV starts

13. See the East Coast

14. Make a few chiffon sundresses, and wear them everywhere in the summertime

14. Investigate buying a cheap motorcycle and road-tripping through the dessert in Utah, solo

15. Remember to cut my hair more often

16. Make an effort to learn something completely new

17. Savor a really great meal

18. Practice more meditation and yoga

19. Soak in Strawberry Park Hot Springs

20. Be happy